The four stages of moving to America
There are four stages in moving to America and starting school here. The
stages might be true for other countries too, but I wouldn’t be able to tell…
Yet!
The four stages are:
1: The butterflies
2: The struggle
3: Acceptance
4: Playing the game
1: The butterflies
The first stage is like a brand-new relationship. Everything is a new
experience and every day is an adventure. You wake up with a smile, realizing
that you did in fact take the step of moving. You are pound of yourself, you
are motivated, you are acing school (cause let’s be real, the level of
education here is quite a bit lower than back home), and each day brings new
excitement; exploring the neighborhoods, meeting people, eating lots of
different amazing foods, etc.
This is also the period, where you have plenty of money, since you
haven’t really had time to spend your savings yet.
2: The struggle
The struggle is the hardest stage. The struggle is the inevitable
feeling of depression and loneliness, that comes with moving to a new country
with a different culture. You are far away from home, from your family and your
friends. You may have made new friends, but not as many as you had hoped for.
Financially you are starting to struggle, and you are really starting to
realize how different society is, from what you are used to. Waking up and
getting out of bed is a struggle, staying motivated in school/work is a
struggle. You start doubting yourself and your choices. You find yourself in
more and more situations, both socially, culturally and financially, that you
never expected you would find yourself in. You start realizing that the
education you are paying for, might not be worth it. Overall, this stage is the
longest and the hardest one to get through. But stay strong, and keep reminding
yourself, that you have taken a huge step, which in itself is an amazing
achievement.
3: Acceptance
This stage happens, as a result of stage two. This is the stage, where
you accept your struggles. You accept your choices you have made, and you
accept that no matter how pissed off at society you are, you can’t change it.
American society is just fucked up. Deal with it. You accept, that in order to
survive, you basically have to work a full-time job on the side of your
studies. You accept, that the level of education you are receiving, is not
actually that high, but you still need it. You accept, that there is more to
life, than just two sides, and most important of all: you accept that it is
okay to struggle and feel down.
4: Playing the game
This stage is the desired stage. This stage is when you take your
acceptance, and turn into something that you will benefit from. This is the
stage, where you see through the system. You start to mix and match – you pick
and choose, and you start really growing as a person. You know what your goals
are, and you start playing the game, the game of life, to push yourself up
society’s ladder.
Especially if you want to succeed in a creative field, this is the
stage, where you find out how it is done.
Most people are stuck at stage three, but don’t be afraid to follow your
dreams and push yourself. Rather try but fail, than regret not trying at all!
Personally, I am at stage two.